"If That Child was Mine..."

Unsolicited advice comes aplenty when you have children. "You're feeding him cereal already?" "You're not feeding him cereal yet!?!?!" "She still in diapers?!?!," and so on and so forth. I think you have to take a lot of it with a grain of salt, and move on.

When my oldest was little, he was way too nice (as in saying, 'Excuse me' when he took a soccer ball from someone else on the soccer field). People in the family told me I needed to tell him not to be so nice. I didn't listen.

That's okay though, I didn't mind a bit then that he was nice, and I don't mind a bit now. He's grown into a fine young man, with a wife and child and he's one of the best (at both) that I've seen. And although he's now a big tough gym rat and military guy, he's still very, very nice.

When my second oldest was little, we were told not to let him make his own path so much. But I liked his fierce, but not disrespectful, independence.  "He'll grow up to be a rebel!" I was told.  Guess what? They were right. 

That's okay though, I didn't mind a bit then, and I don't mind a bit now. He forges his own path, in his quiet determined way, and he's still fiercely independent, but never disrespectful. And he's grown up to be a fine young man too, even if he does sometimes choose to go against what others want him to do. I say have at it! Life is for living, not for letting someone else live it for you.

When my daughter was little, one of her grandmother's told us we'd better not let her climb in bed with us at night or she'd be doing it until she was big. She was right!  That child is 15-yrs. old now and will still mosey on into my room and fall asleep next to me on the bed.

That's okay though, I didn't mind a bit then, and I don't mind a bit now. I know those times aren't going to last much longer at all, and I cherish every single time they do.

Now because my youngest is so nice and soft/kind-hearted, a well-meaning family member has told me I need to toughen him up or he's going to get hurt in life. I've been told it will be my fault when that happens for being too nice to him. That he'll takes things too hard when hard knocks come along later in life. 

Well you know what I think? Life has enough hard knocks in it for all of us, and he'll come across them no matter what I do. I'm not going to intentionally say or do little things to hurt his feelings (You need to holler at that boy once in awhile!") to try and toughen him up (just the thought of that is awful to me). And one day I hope he'll look back and think, 'You know what? My mom was always let me, be me. And that's okay. I appreciated it then, and I appreciate it now.'

Unsolicited advice is often from well meaning people who love our children too.  But that doesn't mean they're right with what they're saying.  Sometimes the best advice taken, is the advice you give to yourself (to ignore the unsolicited advice).